Tips For Keeping Control of Your Sex Life

Ok, so you think that ideally it's best not to have sex as a single person. (Or you are just curious as to how this is even possible!)

But realistically, how does anybody accomplish this?

Just saying "no" while laying unclothed in bed isn't the best way to do so. Rather, it takes behavioral changes to prevent this from even happening.

The following are guidelines on how to stay in control of your sex life.

Some of these suggestions may not apply to you and may seem a bit harsh or extreme. But for others, they may find that these are the only things which work. You'll have to find what works for you.

(Note, the term "date" used below could mean a significant other, a stranger, a fiancée, etc).

Some pointers

• First and foremost, stick to your guns here.
• Be creative in dating, find ways to avoid opportunities for sex. Though the "don'ts" list below may seem negative, turn it into positives on what you can do on a date.
• Stay in control - don't let a partner threaten to dump you if you won't have sex - dump them instead.
• Be firm with any potential dating partner and tell them up front you won't have pre-marital sex with them. If they can't respect that, they don't respect you. Don't feel you have to sleep with someone to keep them - if you do, you don't really have them..
• Take your drink with you to the restroom - don't give your date a chance to slip anything in it. 

Don'ts...Don't..

• let your partner stay overnight or too late at your place. Establish times when your evening is over, and gently remind them that it's time to end the evening.
• spend the night at your partner's place.
• bring your partner home! Just because you are dating, doesn't mean you have to invite them to your house.
• go to a hotel with your partner. If they beg you to come up stairs, leave the building - if not the rest of the time will just a guilt trip effort into going to the room.
• get out of the car if your date pulls up to a hotel.
• drink when out on a date, especially a first date.
• drink in the evening at yours or your partner's place.
• travel overnight together.
• share hotel rooms on overnight trips
• get in the back seat of a car with your partner.
• do anything but hold hands and share simple kisses.
• do anything but hold hands, hug, and kiss. Find your limit, but the less you do the easier it is to protect yourself and to not get sexually involved.

Do's ... Do

• drive your car so your date has no opportunity to pull up to a hotel or secluded area.
• meet where your dates take place, not at your apartment or house, and depart separately. Drive separately and meet at your destination.
• date in groups of couples.
• be creative in dating
• consider courtship instead of dating
• make them wait for marriage - give them an incentive to marry
• tell your partner you care about them and that you appreciate their understanding

Not having sex takes work. You may find that you only need a few of these suggestions, or you may find you need all of them. You may come up with your own ways to avoid sexual involvement.

What ever it takes, you'll find that it's easer to say "no" by simply not providing the opportunity to say "yes".